...going to burst into flames.

Got a letter in the mail the other day.  An actual letter.  Printed on paper, sent in an envelope with paid postage and everything.  The letter in question was from the Ford Motor Company.  They sent me this letter because they wanted to explain to me that, despite what one might expect, they had, in fact, made a mistake in the design of my 2002 Explorer.  They wanted me to know that they couldn't be 100% confident that after "many years of service" my Explorer wouldn't just start on fire and kill anyone within twenty feet.

Well, Ford Motor Company, just how long is "many years of service"?  Is it eight years?  Do years of only accumulate while I own the vehicle, and reset if I sell it?  I mean, I've only owned it for two years, but prior to that someone else did.  How long will it be until the death-mobile that you've created for me is ignited as if by the flames of hell and begins burning people alive?


Having no immediate contact at Ford, I could not easily get answers to those questions.  So what did I do?  I drove my Explorer around for a week.  I took it to the store.  I took it to yet another job interview for yet another job I wouldn't get.  I parked it on top of leaves.  I took it to the gas station, figuring if it's gonna kill me at least it'll be exciting.  Finally, upon realizing that it really wasn't going to kill me, I called the local Ford dealership yesterday, when I had a sitter.  Of course, their day is packed with people who also don't want their shit to burn.

And thus, I took it today.  When I did not, in fact, have a sitter.  So Aidan had to come with me.  It's always fun to have to sit at the car dealership with a small child.  They had a "kid's area".  It consists of a small office that isn't being used, where they have ever so kindly thrown a colored rug down and plopped a shelf full of the toys that had been discarded by the children of current and former employees and were likely covered in H1N1.  Hand sanitizer?  No thanks, we like to live dangerously.

As I sat there on the floor (no adult sized chairs in the kid room.  Who is supposed to be watching the kids?), I started writing this post on my Blackberry Storm I.  Not the fancy Storm II, this is the one I bought a week before the Storm II's came out, and got on a buy one get one deal for a grand total of fifty bucks.  I've had it for a month, now, and it's all fine and dandy.  My biggest problem is that in the last week or so, I seem to somehow be getting worse at typing on the touchscreen.  Maybe it's because I'm speeding up, I dunno.  So I sat there writing this in the online Blogger post editor and the guy comes back to tell me my truck is ready.  So I scroll down and attempt to hit "Save Now" only to find out that the button didn't load properly and when I tried to "click" it (and by click I mean push in a ham-handed manner) I actually hit the "Return to post listing" link.  By the time I got back to the editing page, everything I'd written was gone. 

Ironically, this wouldn't have been so annoying had I been typing on my computer, but I had typed most of what you read here on my phone.  This is the reason for the annoyance.  However, I am happy that my truck won't start itself on fire while I drive down the freeway.