But, just recently, I've been wondering if I don't take it for granted. For the first few months of our days together, we'd spend most of the day playing with cars, or his Word World animals, or just running around the house. It used to be I could just sit and watch him eat his food and I'd be perfectly happy. And I just realized that we don't do as much of that stuff anymore. We still do. I get down on the floor with him for at least a half an hour every day, and we'll play with his Bob the Builder toys, or his Little People toys, or we'll just wrestle around and tickle and jump on the bed. But a half an hour is a big change from most of the day. And I wonder why that is. And it makes me feel a little bit sad and a little bit like I'm being a bad father.
Sure, a lot of the time that I'm not playing with him I'm doing important stuff like homework or looking for jobs or posting here. But this morning I read something that made me question just how important those other things really are in comparison to spending time with your children, ensuring their happiness, and having fun while you're doing it.
Elena Desserich was just about to turn six in late 2006. She had two parents, Keith and Brooke, and a sister, Grace, that loved her dearly. Her parents and sister and grandparents wanted nothing more than to keep Elena comfortable and happy. Because Elena had recently been diagnosed with brain cancer. Doctors said she had about 135 days to live.
Her parents helped her make a list of things she wanted to do. They did as many of those things as they could. There was a little chili shop she wanted to eat at again. She wanted to go to the airport. She wanted to see the Eiffel Tower. She knew what was happening to her, and at six years of age, she was handling it better than I've seen a lot of adults handle it.
The family, and specifically Elena, were obviously spending a lot of time at the hospital. She did get to spend some time at home, though. And, as it turns out, she used her time at home well. Without her parents knowing it, she hid hundreds of little notes around the house for her parents to find after she was gone, letting them and sister know how much she loved them.
Today on MSNBC.com has an article about it which is really not much more than an excerpt from the book her parents wrote about the experience. I read it, and I'm not going to lie, I bawled my frickin' eyes out. So, I implore you, go read the article here. And then go buy the book here. All proceeds from their book go to The Cure Starts Now, and I've removed my Amazon affiliate id from the link to the book, because that would feel pretty damned wrong to me.
Elena lived 255 days. That's four months longer than the doctors told her she would. That's an extra four months that she got to spend with her family, and that they got to spend with her. She passed on in 2007. Do me a favor and say a prayer for her family. I'm so thankful to not be in their situation, and I hope to God I never have to be.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a son to play with.
2 comments:
I was so touched by this. I let one of my nieces borrow a book on vacation once. I just picked that book back up a few weeks ago and a note fell out. I can't imagine how I would have felt if she was no longer with me when I found that note. Now you've gone and made me cry. Great post!
I'm not gonna lie to you, my eyes were leaking pretty hard when I read the article, too. I'm sure they'll be going again when I actually get a chance to read the book, but I have to finish The Road by Cormac McCarthy first. Can't read two books at once and if I stop this one I'll never pick it up again, even though it's awesome.
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